Date and Place
The Bishop will not allow weddings to be held in Advent or Lent for what should be obvious reasons. These are periods of preparation for the great feasts of Christmas and Easter and should not be interrupted by private events.
July and August weddings in Saratoga are not recommended. The high cost and/or unavailability of rooms and reception facilities, vacations, work schedules, traffic and parking availability near the church add to the difficulties. Every detail should be questioned if planning a wedding during this time.
Time
A minimum of 30 days notice is required in the Episcopal Church for a wedding to be performed, although at Bethesda much more time is usually needed for preparation and planning.
Normally weddings have been scheduled within the hours of 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., with the majority of couples preferring the 11:00 a.m. or noon hour on Saturday.
Constraints on personnel and the priority of Sunday’s schedule which begins at 6:30 a.m. make evening weddings on Saturdays impossible. We are simply not able to do it and also consider late-in-the-day weddings unwise for the couple.
Friday afternoons or evenings are available if such a time is, for some reason, compelling. Sunday weddings would be held at 1:00 p.m. or 1:30 p.m.
A bit of advice:
In setting the time of your wedding, don’t worry about Aunt Betty in Buffalo and whether she may or may not make it. This is your wedding. Family and friends will adapt easily if you give them plenty of time to plan. Also, please do not let the reception rule the wedding. We have hundreds of suitable places in the area for a reception whose proprietors will expect to be paid handsomely to meet your needs. The argument that a wedding must be held at a certain time or date because the place of reception says so, is absolute nonsense and an insult to you and the church. Find another place.
* Depending on the length of your ceremony, (see below “ceremony length“) and the location of your reception, you will want to schedule your wedding for 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours before the reception.
Music
Bethesda is blessed with a fine concert level organist named Farrell Goehring. Additional musicians, soloists and your preferences for the music used at your wedding are coordinated through him. There is a rich array of appropriate music available from which to choose. You may contact him through the parish office or chat with him after the 8 or 10 a.m. services. The Music Commission on Church Music of the Episcopal Church and the Music Commission of the Diocese of Albany do not consider usage of Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin or Mendelssohn’s Wedding March to be appropriate for use in the church. The chorus is choral music written to mock a fake wedding in its original operatic setting and therefore especially inappropriate for use as an organ piece introducing the Sacrament of Marriage in the Church.
Unity Candle
Some churches have begun to use a “Unity Candle” during the ceremony. The outward and visible signs of your marriage are the words of your vows, joining of hands and the rings given and received. If you desire to use the candle ceremony it is more appropriately done at the reception where the candle might be seen to burn at your table throughout your celebration.
Service Sheet
A Service Sheet or program of the service may be desired. You may consult with our Secretary, Katrina Keech, regarding content, examples of previous styles, correct terms and the like.
Rehearsal
The Wedding rehearsal is usually held at 4 p.m. on the day prior to the wedding and lasts about an hour. Not all the attendants are required to be present. The Rector usually meets with you for your final session 45 minutes prior to rehearsal time. It would be a great help to the Rector’s schedule if it were possible for most of your wedding party to be here for an earlier rehearsal time. If there is another wedding scheduled on your day, we will have to vary the rehearsal times accordingly. Music and readings are not practiced during the rehearsal to reserve their unique contribution for the actual ceremony.
Ceremony – Length
The length of the wedding ceremony oddly enough depends more on you than the church since the variable factors are up to you. A wedding ceremony with two attendants, one lesson and about one hundred in attendance will last about fifteen minutes. If you have a receiving line at the church, it will depend on how talkative you are with your guests, but then you could be on your way in thirty minutes. If you have ten or twelve attendants, three lessons in the context of the Holy Eucharist, a solo or two, with 250 in attendance and a receiving line at the church you could be on your way in an hour and a quarter (depending on how talkative you are!).
Experience reveals that the ceremony itself will vary from 15 to 35 minutes depending on whether you have a Mass or not. It is preferred that extra musicians, solos and the like be placed just before the Bridal Procession, during the Offertory or at the Communions so as not to stop the natural flow of the service.
 Betrothal at the Crossing of the Church Jim Pachter Photography |
 Vows at the Altar Jim Pachter Photography |
Receiving Line
Your receiving line may be held at the church in the Narthex as your guests leave.
Rice, etc.
Rice, confetti, birdseed or flower petals thrown as the couple leaves the church are not absolutely forbidden but we greatly prefer it not be done. Rice and birdseed attract animals who are then in peril from the traffic on the street. Confetti in the rain will stain your clothes and the sidewalk and the whole lot of them will irritate you throughout your reception popping up in shoes and pockets when least expected. Have them toss such things at you as you leave the reception. We’ll all be happier! If you insist on having something thrown, distribute it outside the church as the people leave, not inside the building which creates a real mess.
